Capturing a nuance in a relationship ...
On the wicker rocker Breathing the nascent dawn Asphyxiating!! Draw a lungful On my cigarette Ahhhh! I breathe! She walks out Of the bedroom door Rubbing her dream-sleep-filled eyes My T-Shirt hurriedly worn Reminds of the night long gone! Plants a kiss On my pursed lips about to exhale Asphyxiating!! Sits on my lap Fire in my hand Now in my loins The night has not long gone! I want to smell me In her T-shirt I wore it last I smell her Asphyxiating!! Swaying to and fro The rocker rocks Climaxing!! I scoop her up Carry her through The bedroom door — Wearing her T-shirt Wearing my T-shirt Smell her still Asphyxiating!! Rocking to and fro Diamond wedding ring Beside my cigarette fire Asphyxiating!!
What stayed with you?
A line that lingered, a feeling, a disagreement. Great comments are as valuable as the original piece.
Responses8
Nilanjana, good to see you're back again - the nuance was just too much - thanks for yet another good poem
Hi! it's nice to be back. Have been enjoying all the articles and comments on this site. As for the "nuance", it's there in a relationship, may be unspoken. May be u even feel guilty to acknowledge the nuance, but it's there!
I agree - and sometimes these nuances are more real than the words spoken
The self is at most times so important that we do not even feel like sharing even with our own shadow. And when these unspoken nuances are not acknowledged - relationships sour!
what? Ass fixiation? j/k.... welcome back... this one's not as good as the others. Although its better than the mess out there.
Is this the real bullet or we going to hear yet another outburst of emotions here ;o)
Looks like that - doesn't it!! I never can fathom why people call creativity a "mess"!! bullet has been ripping a few holes lately.
warped sense of humour! as i keep reminding the readers - nuances in life are not comparable - life is not comparable, relationships are not comparable. May be one of the reasons as to why I avoid this site is that the readers are becoming too prejudiced, too judgemental!
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