Innocent as a dove....Artificial as reality

Frightened to speak the truth ...hasitate to loud out my verses....slaying my real crux

“I want to live to my fullest” I could not understand the gesture, am I the same being who brought joy to the lives of so many unknowns to whom I related myself initially. Who thought that I will be the one who’ll stand there when they are going through tough times? The nurtured me so that I’ll become a good person who’ll stand besides them when they want some one to hear them as they are always with me. They taught me to be as nice to each living being as I am for myself.

Well they thought that I’ll become a good professional as I grow old carrying all my learning which I acquired but they never thought that they too got the same innocence as a heritage from there elders. Were they able to retain those teachings? I know everyone is a different self and I too want to be one. I hope that the fire on which I am sitting condenses my innocence from me like it did from others. I don’t want to stay away from my basal; it feels like I am living some one else’s life whom I hate. I am in search of a path to eternity which I know that I won’t found living a life like this. I met many people who are fighting a war with themselves but they say it too that it is endless. I know that nobody can show me the path, they tell me to run away but from whom myself or this life.

I don’t want to run away but want to change not myself but other’s which is also difficult as they are immune to this eventuality. I realized it is my problem that I want to hear the straight dope. I have lost many relations because of this and I am on the verge of loosing some more but I am not afraid. If I’ll loose my innocence, how I can save the innocence of the others who are relying on me. But when I think of them then I am again sucked into the vicious circle of my predicament.

Have you been to a state where you hear so annoying noises coming out of the puppets who are just hustling here and there searching for an object of minimal importance leaving behind the care, admiration and faith of a beloved? I have been there when I am high. I don’t want to go there too, I know there was someone inside me who tempted me to go there and get to know that I am running from myself and need to go back to face the eventuality.

Running is not my kind of way is it yours’’’’’’’’.If you can see a hazel image of yours in my note you are too at the same locale where I am living.